Almost Here
by PalletChancey
Summary: Songfic. Spot is having relationship problems again...


**Almost Here **

**Disclaimer: I did not write this song. This song is by Brian McFadden. **

**Author's Note: This song fic kind of shows a more sensitive side to Spot. I recommend listening to the song while reading this.**

_Did I hear you right?  
Cause I thought you said  
Let's think it over  
You have been my life  
And I never planned  
Growing old without you  
Shadows bleeding through the light  
Where the love once shined so bright  
Came without a reason  
Don't let go on us tonight  
Love's not always black and white  
Haven't I always loved you?_

"So, Spot, What's the big surprise? Why'd you bring me here: to the place we had our first date?" Pallet asked, sitting on the blanket Spot had spread out on the grass.

"Well, this is why…" Spot pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it up to reveal a ring with a small diamond. "I know it's not very big but I've been saving up for it… Will you marry me?"

"It's beautiful Spot but…"

"But what?"

"But shouldn't we, um… think about this first?"

"Think about what?" Spot set the ring box on the blanket beside him and took her hands in his. "I want to marry you, make babies with you, and get old with you. I love you Pallet. I have always loved you and always will!"

"I love you too and I always will. It's just…" Pallet looked down at their hands.

"Just what?"

_But when I need you  
You're almost here  
And I know that's not enough  
And when I'm with you  
I'm close to tears__**  
**__'cause your only almost here_

"It's just that when we're together, when I'm with you, I want to cry…"

"Why?"

"Spot, when I'm with you, you're not with me. Physically, yes you are, but in every other way, the ways I need you to be, you're not." A tear slowly made its way down Pallet's cheek.

Spot brushed it off with his thumb. "What do you mean I'm not? I don't understand."

"Spot, ever since your sister was killed, you won't get too close to anyone or let anyone get too close to you. You have put a wall up between yourself and the world so you can stop yourself and everyone else from getting too close, from letting your feelings show, or being there for anyone. Being physically strong is not enough." Another tear fell from her cheek.

"That's not true! I comfort you when you need me to and I listen when you need to talk."

"Yes, you comfort me and listen to me but that's just not enough. I want you to feel: Feel sad when I do, feel happy when I'm happy." Spot let go of her hands and turned to stare at the lake. "Spot, I need you to let me comfort you and I need you to talk to me so that I can listen to you, for a change." Pallet placed a hand on his arm. "I love you Spot, more than you can imagine, but until you can do that, I can't marry you… And… I can't be with you…"

Pallet kissed Spot's cheek, got up, and walked away.

_I would change the world  
If I had a chance  
Oh won't you let me  
Treat me like a child  
Throw your arms around me  
Oh please protect me_

Bruise and battered by your words  
Days are shattered, how it hurts  
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Several days went by and everyday Spot would sit by the lake and think about what Pallet said.

"Oh, Pallet, if you only understood…" Spot said to himself."I want to let you know what I'm feeling and I want to talk to you about everything but I just can't."

Spot stared at the ring for a long time… Then it hit him! Spot smiled, put the ring back into his pocket, and went to find Pallet.

_But when I need you _  
_You're almost here _  
_And I know that's not enough _  
_And when I'm with you _  
_I'm close to tears _  
_'cause your only almost here _  
__  
_Bruise and battered by your words _  
_Days are shattered, now it hurts _  
_Haven't I always loved you?_

Pallet stared down at the picture of her and Spot: they were both smiling, with their arms around each other, but in Spot's eyes, you could see he was somewhere else. Pallet placed the picture back on the table next to her bed, just as there was a knock on the door. She got up and opened the door. "Spot…?"

"Can I come in?" He asked peering inside the room.

"Sure." Pallet opened the door wider and stepped out of the way so Spot could enter. After he was inside, she closed the door and sat down on the bed. Both were silent for a bit before Pallet finally said something."Spot, is something wrong?" She watched Spot as he stared out the window.

_But when I need you  
You're almost here  
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you  
And when I hold you  
You're almost here  
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted  
And now I'm with you  
I'm close to tears  
Cause I know I'm almost here  
Only almost here_

"You were right…" He replied, barely above a whisper.

"What?"

Spot left the window and sat down next to Pallet.

"You were right… I didn't realize how far I was keeping you away." Spot positioned himself so he was looking directly at Pallet, and took her hands in his. "I was afraid that if I let my feelings show or even talked about what happened, you would have to comfort me, and then you and everyone else would see me as weak. And, if I'm weak, I couldn't protect you and something would happen to you too. And then I would lose another person I loved…"

Pallet put her arms around Spot and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry Pallet. I figured that if we loved each other that would be enough… I know now that it's more than that."

They held each other for a few minutes more before either of them spoke again.

"Spot, I'll take that ring now, if you still want to marry me…"

Spot let her go and smiled. He pulled the ring from his pocket, placed it on her finger, and kissed her hand. Then, Pallet leaned in and kissed him.


End file.
